takut

.serius.

4 hari lagi nk abes paper exam.

lagi 5 hari nak balik rumah.

lagi 2 mgu lebih nk menghadapi presentation yg menakutkan.

lebih kurang lagi sebulan nk meninggalkan perlis ni.

4 bulan utk konvokesyen.

takut.

nak menghadapi masa hadapan yang tak tahu arah tujuan.

nak menghadapi hubungan yang sekian lama 2 tahun,

tidak tahu apa akhir cerita nanti.

alam pekerjaan yg tak tentu lagi apa yang akan jadi.

engineer?

pekerja jusco?

atau penganggur terhormat?

serius.takut.

takut pun, aku terpaksa menghadapinya kan?

notakaki: siapa ada kerja kosong sila email aku :)

what am i thinking?

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it
I was burned
I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

Wont you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes
I'd like to stay...
STAY



Katy Perry - thinking of you



p/s: meaningful song. dedicate to someone. you know who you are. :P

Can I miss you? Its only for today.

hope it gives you hell

(credit to SOS photography -deviantart)

seriously.i'm EMO. i used to let the anger conquer by throw up some stuff, slammed up the door like hell, shout out loud to ppl who mess with me, curse like f%%*& and there's so many stuff i'll do. yes, i used to be that kind person who actually doing something stupid when i'm soo emo. yes, that is the fact of the past but now, it is not anymore. seriously. believe it or not. i'll speechless. all the anger and emo feeling i'll kept in myself and the bestest thing to let the anger is just by crying. yes, CRYING. at last i'm acting like a girl.

have you experience of ppl that who doing stuff or finished work at the veryyyy last minute. its doesnt matter if it is the last minute you'll do its only going to ruined your own life, not someone else and not involve anyone else. but, this case is probably ruined and spoiled someone else and someone is ME!!! yes, its me.

Gosh. the exam schedule has been on portal since last month and the due date for any changes if papers clash are last month! last month dude!! seriously. how could you just check the exam schedule in study week or specifically YESTERDAY and by your own, you can change the exam schedule at your own decision cuz the paper clash at the time when we only got 5 days to final exam.! HUARGH! thought that it will be happier when the exam is delay, huh? don't think all classmates will love it since got plenty of time to study. yes, MAJOR of it will be happy. but, that is NOT me, ok? im soo planning everything for the past 3 months that exam will be over early like it supposed to be. then, suddenly on exam week you guys can change the exam schedule just because you guys JUST REALIZE that your paper taken are clash YESTERDAY!

yes, i am so EMO when it is announce, i was totally surprise and guessing that i'm the only one who will be pissed off and else will be happy. YEAY! <-damn! even the acquantainces also never feel sympathize. i never heard they say "oh, rileks la mye..bleh study lame sket? " i guess. its kinda make me DOWN actually. sorry if not. really? seriously, i'm speechless. you guys RUINED and SPOILED everything. yes, you guys deserve it and admit it your fault.

after all, i'll hve to take as true and the reality that all the plan will NEVER happen. THANKS a lot!

i accept you two apologetic.where's the other two? it doesnt count anymore as this is the final semester and i'll never experience it anymore. i hope!

Sorry and thousand apology for being such an EMO.<-this is what i am.

p/s: listen to all american rejects - gives you hell.

mye :d

oh, froggie

wan n yantea ckp "katak ni perasan kurus kut"

serius.aku kesian dan terseksa tgk katak ni. aku takut kalau aku tolong. tiba2 putus. tu lagi menyeksakan. gambar ni amik 2 hari lepas. hari ni aku tgk balik tempat kejadian. katak tu sudah pergi meninggalkan dunia buat selama-lamanya. (uh, ayat skema.) ok, fine. dia dah mati. .

satu penyeksaan ke arah kematian yang sgt tragis. kesian kat katak ni. sempena itu aku namakan entri-ku dgn nama-kau 'oh,froggie'

penyeksaan katak ni aku tatau la same ke dgn penyeksaan yang aku hadapi sekarang. penantian satu penyeksaan. memang terseksa dgn penantian. aku tak sabar nak abes blajar. tap, aku cukop terseksa dgn pelbagai bende yang nak kene hadapi.

• final exam. walaupun 2 subjek tap punyelah terseksa. banyak gila nk kne blaja. sudahlah start study lambat. lagi 5 hari je nk start final. 1st paper pon tak study lagi. dah la kne blaja law. akaun. management. ethics utk paper Jurutera dlm Masyarakat. boleh buat sakit kepala tau tak. hadi cakap JDM equals to PMS. btol ke? entah..aku tak rasa pape2 pun, hadi. kau biar betul. *wondering*

• viva/presentation. jangan pikir kereta viva plak. viva equals to presentation. sgt2 lah risau. aku mengarut macam2 dlm report tu. saje nk bagi report tu tebal sket. HAHA mesti aku kene mcm2 dgn examiner. report aku bakal di-reject masa presentation. bertambah-tambah lagi kje aku. haish. ape lah aku nk present nnti? mengarut dan menipu dengan yakin dan confident, boleh x?

• dalam penyeksaan ni, ada satu bende yang aku tak sabar. ya, pulang ke rumah! at home at last! nasib lah paper abis awal sebelum start viva. boleh la aku lari dgn barang2 yang banyak ni pulang ke selatan. tak sabar nk jmpe mak ayah<--serius? ya, serius. aku homesick, anak emak, anak ayah, anak bongsu yang manje dan etc. ok, cukup.cukup. sila admit dan jujur. emm, padehal tak sabar nk jmpe budak-songkok-tinggi. ouh, rindunya. *wink*

• satu lagi hal yang buat aku terseksa. ingat aku rajin lah nk publish entri dlm mgu study week ni. hari ni. setiap jam dari 1 pagi. 3 pagi. 4.30 pagi. 6.30 lagi. aku bangun. keluar masuk toilet.terseksa siot aku. kacau waktu tido aku aku. celaka.

memang celaka air neslo! bercerai-lah kau! tiada lagi nescafe berkahwin dgn milo. HUAARGH!

notakaki: terpaksa qada' tido pagi2 ni. ZZzzz

kuala perlis

Kuala Perlis.

macam-macam

*******

i know sometimes its gonna rain.
cuz its doesnt forever to be summer and winter
sometimes, it doesnt feel like it used to be
cuz ain't love that can be perfect
keep thinking everything about it
i can't sleep through the pain
as we're still fighting for nothing
crying for nothing
thinking how bad is it
keep asking question eventhough we already know the answer
keep staring on picture of you, as we don't see each other almost 4 months.
wondering what you thinking
are u still the same?
still have the same feeling when we first met like few years ago?
are u still care for me like u used to be?
are u still want to hold me when i'm down?
still be my soulmate?
are you still love me like i love u.

*******

ape yang aku merepek tah kt atas ni. merepek dan berterabur. tap, lantak la. supposedly nk post entri ni mlm kelmarin tap, sgtlah mental down malam tu sampai terbantut semua rancangan aku. konon nak hantar report pagi semalam, tap salahkan kejadian di malam hari yg spoiledkan semua. haish. tak tau nk blame sape. aku? atau dia? b-s-t? entahlah. macam2 halangan/dugaan bila long-distance relationship ni. aku tak pasti berjaya ke tak. aku sgt harap berjaya dan kekal abadi hingga ke akhir hayat-ku dan cucu-cicit ku. amin. ah, merepek sudah!.. tap, serius ni. aku ada azam aku sendiri. sampai bila aku nk me-flirtkan diri. (ah, mengaku..) betul tak wahai perempuan sekalian? hahah. astaga, aku da merepek lagi.. sila abaikan. terima kasih.

ok,terus. ya, aku sgt superb homesick. b-s-t tu no 2. yang penting family. ayah dah telefon bila nk balik. padehal lagi brape hari je aku nk habes, dan sebenarnya dia akan bakal bosan menghadap muka ku dirumah dan bakal berebut channel kat astro. haish. tap, aku tak berfikir begitu. aku cuma rindu kt ayah. mungkin hubungan aku dgn ayah terlalu rapat. hidup ku hanya dgn dia selepas mak sambung belajar di UM. kakak-ku semua di asrama. hidupku dengan ayah masa tu bergelumang dgn maggi sahaja setiap malam, sbb ayah balik keje tak sempat masak dan aku kene pegi tusyen malam. sejak melantak maggi setiap malam, makin lama aku main bengap. makin lembab. makin malas. makin gemok. dan semuanya ke arah yang negatif. (ni reason nape aku tak makan megi smpai skang. PAMA boleh dimaafkan la) walaupun, megi jadi makanan ruji mase umur 12 tahun tapi aku still berjaya dgn gayanya masuk sekolah asrama penuh.. HAHAHA ok, merepek dah..tak ada kaitan langsung.ok?

setelah berhempas pulas menyiapkan report final projek yang aku asyik bising dan mengeluh, akhirnya aku siap dan dah hantar. walaupun, due date 13 april tapi sv aku tak nak terima on the day. suruh hantar awal. erm, macam2 la die. setiap mase push aku. mula-mula agak emo asyik kne bebel je, but at the end aku rase cara tu sgt worth it sbb semua kerja aku at last siap dan aku boleh rilek dgn bahagia sambil menonton movie dan fringe. Then, aku boleh start concentrate pd final exam. final exam? yes. lagi 13 hari. ade 2 paper je utk final ni, tap sgtlah byk kene membaca dan menghafal. gila betul. undang-undang? etika? akaun? bisnes? mane aku pro bab-bab cmni. tap, sebab subjek ni wajib terpakse la aku amik.layan kan aje lah.. zaasssss

gula dalam darah naik sehingga 6.4. gila! tahap kesihatan aku sgt2 merisaukan. bagitau akak aku, die risau. ya, dulu aku selalu buat air perisa sendiri. gula tak payah ckp. air yang aku bancuh semua manis. entah. aku suka yang manis2 ni. risau. pegi cek darah free dekat expo aritu. cek tekanan darahaku normal. hiv aku normal. yang tak normal paras gula dalam darah dgn bmi. macam biasa aku sebenarnya normal bmi, tapi sebab aku tak cukup tinggi.. berat yang sepatutnya aku ada skang ialah 45. gila?! lagi 12 kilo aku nk kurang. tahap metabolisma aku pun rendah. sebab tu la aku kurangkan kuantiti makanan. ya, aku kene diet dan bersenam. bersenam? petang2 di perlis asyik hujan smpai ke malam, aku bersenam atas katil je la. ok?

macam-macam ku bebel dalam entri kali ni. mulanya nk upload gmba tap server di hostel sgtlah celaka. aku give up nk upload. so, aku bebel je la dlm entri kali ni. kalau bosan, maaf ya. aku tak pandai berkata-kata seperti dia.dan juga si-dia. ini cuma diari aku minggu ini. aku bosan. padan muka kalau kau baca entri aku yang bosan ni. HAHAHAHAHAHAH

notakaki: maaf jika aku agak berlaku sedikit spastik. really?

a little unwell

********

All day

Staring at the ceiling

Making friends with shadows on my wall

All night

Hearing voices telling me

That I should get some sleep

Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on

I'm feeling like

I'm headed for a

Breakdown

I don't know why

I'm not crazy

I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy

I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

Me

Talking to myself in public

Dodging glances on the train

I know I know they've all been talking 'bout me

I can hear them whisper

And it makes me think there must be something wrong

With me

Out of all the hours thinking

Somehow

I've lost my mind

I'm not crazy

I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me

I'm not crazy

I'm just a little impaired

I know right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep

Pretty soon they'll come to get me

Yeah, they're taking me away

I'm not crazy

I'm just a little unwell

I know, right now you can't tell

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see

A different side of me I'm not crazy

I'm just a little impaired

I know, right now you don't care

But soon enough you're gonna think of me

And how I used to be ..

unwell

Matchbox 20

*******

this is serious

i'm not crazy

i'm not insane

i'm not mad

i'm just a little unwell

cuz

its been 4 months i'm not seeing my songkok-tinggi boy

:'(

and the award goes to...

Blog award.

thanx to ain karim. yes, now its 2009. but, thnx a lot. its my first award! :)

Rules in receiving this award are:

1. Copy badge "2008 Cute's 3logger Award" & put it at ur blog.

2. Link & tell who gave u the award

3. State 10 facts or hobbies of urs

4. Choose 6 bloggers to also receive the next award

5. Dont forget to inform the chosen bloggers!

10 facts and hobbies:

1. saya suka menghadap laptop ber-jam-jam lamanya, walaupun asek komplen sakit mate dan sakit belakang, power spec tinggi dan macam2 lagi. saya suke edit gmba :)

2. saya suke menulis diari dan blog. saya simpan ade 3 atau 4 buku yg penuh dgn diari saya dari tahun 2005. Di samping menulis blog di sini, dan juga di blog friendster. *uh, byknye*

3. saya sedang berusaha menahan diri dr makan nasi dan ayam.yes, i'm on diet!

4. kalau di hostel, saya manusia paling rajin mengemas, basuh baju dan menyapu sambil mulut bergerak dgn laju. tapi, jika di rumah di johor. saya manusia paling malas dan hanya duduk di kerusi dan on9 dengan bahagia.

5. (terpakse tukar kepada other fact..sbb menjadi kontroversi dan bahan bualan di dalam skype. hampagas punye yasmin.)

5. (latest) saya tak suke condition yg empty and dull.especially the place where i need rest. i love decorate my wall with pixies. poster.notes.hutang-hutang. kalender. bru ade feel nk study and tido smpai 11 jam. astaga.

6. kemas.kemas. tempat yang kemas dan bersih mmg saya perlukan utk buat kerja atau tidur. saya tidak suka bersepah-sepah. *sila amil perhatian kepada yanti dan alin :P*

7. i am very planning in everything that i do. tidak kira la, kalau nk pegi dating, holiday or wutever. semua perlu di-plan. but, if tak jadi. i'm the one who very very frustrated. *regret sendiri.ouch*

8.yes, i am emo person. i heritage it from my mother. for sure la, we both are LIBRA. emo and sensitive! but, lately im trying hard to be not emo. but, kept it everything all in myself.

9. ive two big sister also named mai which menjadi konflik bila ade org call rumah " makcik, mai ade?" " mai mane satu?".... it is maisarah and maisurya. the first is soo caring and terer cooking. the second is so-so-so baik and nice and rajin. the third is so-so emo and pemalas masak but rajin sidai kain. (variation is good in life, ok?)

10. i'm taken.in relationship with a boy almost 2 years. hopefully it will remains for eternity.

Award goes to

yanti, lieza, apek, pengembara sepi, hadi, yati.

mye :)

happy birthday!

happy birthday

budak-songkok-tinggi

1 April 2009

(April Fool's day)

(2007)

It's all start when u're still 19

(2008)

and you're twenty-o

(2009)

now you're twenty-one


*******

harry dear,

i look at life differently because i have you by my side.

When something good happen,

part of my joy is the pleasure of sharing it with you.

When i face problems or difficulties,

they don't bother me nearly as much because i hve you to lean on.

I enjoy doing everyday things with you because

they bring memories of happy times we've shraed before.

And I'm always glad to try something new because it gives us

new experiences that make us feel even closer.

Whatever we do and whatever happens,

every single moment means more because we live it together.

*******

"I'm scared to death to live and not have you to hold"

*******

Happy Birthday!

one-four-three

mye :)