Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Kepada Tuhan, aku berserah.

when things getting complicated and confused

yes. it start with a small things. tak pasti dengan diri ini. whats wrong. I am scared with eight. NOt sure what eight is all about. Ok. Ignore about the eight thingy. Lapan. I dont know why so suddent eight comes in the picture. Lerrr.. Ever since my holiday starting at the end of last month until yesterday, i feel something is not right. Everyday i'm facing with flu and asthma. Like seriously. Need mommy to woke up late night to take cre of me. Inhaler pam semua berjalan lancar but need a little massage. yes, after that I will be okay. But, who can face to sick like almost everyday. Small things. Just a minor flu. Minor fever. Minor cough. Everything is just a common sick. Ya. Ya. I am totally worried. My BF is so damn worried. I am sick like everyday and like three or four times a months. Even the doctor i met this morning, did notice that i am sick very frequently. Yes. I am. I am notice about myself. I am lost if sick dekat KL. If I were in Kota Tinggi with parents, i will more secure. Yes. with daddy and mommy. Now, alone back in KL. Even i tell to my aunt n cousin, they just can only nodded. Oh, really. Soo sad. That's all. my BF suggest a few, like having bekam. My cousin ask me to meet to Ustaz, treatment for sinus. Can i have more suggestion? What else shud i do? I taken honey every morning but now already stop taking is as I didnt found the right one like previously. What else? I'm lost.

When things getting complicated. yes, complicated. I don't know what shud i do next. I am really sick and exhausted. Things getting confused also. Yes, confused. I am seriously confuse with my own sick. Like previously, I 'm having bronchitis and viral infection. Now? Sinus and Tonsilitis. Oh, I am seriously lost. Most people will said, ala kecik je sakit. But, be in my shoes. I am spoiled to do any job when I sick. I am not having major like tumor or cancer but when minor things happen everyday equals to MAJOR okay. Bukan nak menbanggakan penyakit sendiri cuma saya redha dengan ketentuan ini. Saya hanya bercerita untuk melepaskan segalanya yg terbuku di hati. I just want to let it go. Please go. Sick, please go.

Kepada Tuhan aku berserah.

Ya Allah, berilah petunjuk dan permudahkan lah urusan ku. Sihatkan lah tubuh badan ku dan jauhkan lah aku dari penyakit yang merbahaya untuk hambamu ini. ya Allah, kuatkan la semangatku menghadapi segala dugaan penyakit yang ku terima dan masih tidak dapat dikenal pasti ini. Ya Allah, Engkau lah Maha Kuasa dan Mentadbir sekalian alam. Berilah petunjuk kepada hambamu ini ya Allah. Amin ya rabbal alamin.

notakaki: get well soon to myself.

No comments: