bebelan kosong

lepas touch n go kt entrance kl sentral mesti stop kejap. amik paper free, belek2 kt classifieds punye page. tgk job kosong. ishk. "female and bumiputera wanted.skill in ms office and interesting personality" job apakah itu? mesti personal assistant. kalau tak pun, admin or clerk. lekeh2 pun receptionist. huhu. entah la. aku ni layak ke nk bergelumang dalam era secretary or admin? hmm..kurus? lawa? lemah lembut? aku xde satu pun dalam senarai tu. T_T

biarkan je la.bersyukur dgn apa yang ada. kan lagi elok? kan?

harini. 20 oktober. ade history from this date. my first crush punye birthday. yes. first. when i was just 12. gila kan? cintan cintun mase darjah 6. hehe. it was so awesome. seriously. frist love and crush. mmg la org ckp cinta monyet, tapi i guess it was memorable. all the kantoi dgn cikgu faridah (mase tu cikgu plg garang..), the dating thing mase both dlm kelab seni and night tuition class.. bahagianya. the best is we celebrate the birthday together. .he's on 20th and im on 22nd. just 2 days gap. hehehe.come to his house with a friend and i remember one thing, i just dissappeared from his sight only a minutes sbb going to restroom but he's searching for me like crazy. cewah. mmg rs klaka time tu as he's is the hot boys in school and i was feel like "wahh, dpt hot boys in school.gila la." also that time keep thinking, am i deserve? lawakah aku? ishk. wutever la. tu love story mase kecik2. who cares? hehe. but the best, till now we still friend. keep in touch through phone. :) now, he is an artist, nasyid group. not so famous, but okla :) bila ingat-ingat balik mase dulu, mesti rasa macam tengah terbang di langit. bahagiaa. happy birthday HALIM :)

rama-rama terbang dalam perut.

kisah2 cinta dulu tak boleh dibangkitkan. nanti budak songkok tinggi jeles. HAHAHA. nanti die off handphone. susah la. ishk. budak songkok tinggi tak penah marah, cuma dalam mase 2 tahun ni,sekali tu je die marah. he's exactly like my ayah tak reti nak marah but just only he cannot cook well like daddy. *ape kes, laki terer masak?* HAHAHA. my daddy thumbs up woo in cooking even can beat my mummy's cooking. ok. ok. cukup pasal itu. rama-rama dlm perut bila ingat budak songkok tinggi. tak kesah la he's younger than me or wutever ppl say about us we still stick together *poyo*. it just me yg emosi, tapi die cool je. kan? kan? hihi 

"and i dun care what they say, i'm gonna be with you. and i dun care what they do, i'm gonna be with you " jiwang pulak. eiii. layan jap je. :) merepek.merepek.kerepek. 

keadaan sebenar yang menghantui jiwa.

kebosanan melampau dalam office buat aku merepek bukan2. so, flashback la cerita cintan dulu2. sgtla tak senonoh.cinta yang no 1, no 2 no 3 sume revealed dlm otak.ishk ishk. tgh syok2 bebel dlm notepad, ttbe AGM lalu. haish. boss takde. sakan sambut deepavali. si ganesh sambut seminggu. mengalahkan boss. hampeh punye budak. ganesh takde, sunyi plak. kalau die ade mesti kecoh. wah wah. rindu ganesh ni. :D

IKLAN.IKLAN.

Siva (bossku) & Ganesh & Devaki & Ari and also to all indians in the world.

happy deepavali :)

 
eh.eh.lagi 3 jam nak balik. dtg office hanya utk online.*geleng kepale* projek takde lagi. yang lepas still pending. network tak jalan lagi. sape punye keje ni? haish. terpakse tgu network ok, bru la keje boleh buat. huhu. layan je. yeke layan? bangun pagi kol 6, kluar rumah kol 7, balik kje 5.30 tapi sampai rumah plg cepat pun kol 9. layan ke tu?  

penat aih.

p/s: ya, Tuhanku.bagilah kekuatan kepada hambamu ini. Amin~

kepala pening.otak pusing.

perasaan marah membuak-buak sudah lama hilang.dah tak marah lagi. dah malas nk fikir psl emo yang melampau-lampau.semua gara-gara manusia yang tak de otak pijak nyawa aku mase tgh solat. cermin mataku ialah nyawaku.poyo kan? tapi, itu la hakikat. tak ade spec, mmg merepek and mengarut je la keje. melilau tak kemana-mana. kerja pun tak fokus. confident level mmg akan automatic jadi low. emo pasal hal tu dah makin kurang sbb nyawa yang baru sudah di tempah (apakah ayat ni..mcm nyawa tu boleh beli je..) bukan, tapi spec yang baru dah ditempah dgn power spec yang tinggi gila.maka, mahal gila. bulan depan punya elaun kene cut off. bayar siket2 pd ibu terchenta. tak pelah. baru sket dah mengeluh. ishk. sabarye wahai hati dan duetku.

biarkan je la kisah spec mata patah utk kali ke 28 sejak dr sekolah menengah. pernah masuk lubang toilet. kene pijak. baling merata-rata terus patah. jatuh lubang tempat shower. kene bola. macam-macam hal. bila dah tak selesa nak pakai, beli baru. huhu. tima kasih kpd ayah yg sgt2 memahami. hehe. spec kali ni, kne berhati-hati. YA! *promise* (cross-finger) tak berani beb.

bila la nk berubah dgn perasaan emo yang tak pernah2 nak ilang. eventho mak dah nasihat mcm-mcm, but still emo tu still ade. mak ckp " jgn marah-marah, nnti kne darah tinggi.muda2 darah tinggi, susah nanti".. btul tu. tapi, aku mcm buat endah je. ishk. dgn harry pun same jadi mangsa. mak ckp " adik, jgn marah2 hairi tu, lembut2 sket. nanti die boring, kang kene tinggal". btul jugak tu. tapi, after 2 years he's ok je dgn my emo thing. hopefully la. entahlah. ive done lots of things to avoid emo. bukan avoid la, tapi reduce it. tapi, still mcm tu sbb bila da too mad takkan nk simpan. ive to let it out! seriously. bila simpan dlm ati, seksa. haishh..

emo emo. pening kepale kalau pk. tak semua bende nk cite pd org. tapi, pd budak songkok tinggi je berani cite. walaupun, die tak berapa nk memahami keadaan tu tapi die dgr je ape yang aku bebel. budak songkok tinggi, thank eh! bukan tak nak cite pd kawan-kawan, tapi tak ada masa yang panjang nk cite. mungkin ade setengah2 yang dah tau tapi not the whole story.

 kepale pening, otak pusing, tangan dan badan dah mengigil. 

mcm ni keadaan bila kekusutan dalam kepala tak dpt nk diluahkan.aargh! mcmni la keadaan bila kebebasan dalam diri tak dapat dilepaskan. semuanya kene menurut perintah . bila hidup terlalu dikongkong, mcm ni la jadinya. aku merepek tak tentu pasal. ayat dah tunggang langgang. hidup aku sgt terlalu dikongkong. walaupun, bakal mencecah 23 khamis ni tapi semua tu tak ada makna dan erti! bukan minta utk bersosial cuma hati seorang remaja ni tolonglah faham. aku pun ada kawan. bukan satu dua, tapi ramai. hmmm. cuma minta utk bersama -kawan kawan saje. itu je. walau apapun, ibu ayah akak tetap aku utamakan. *janji!*

ibu, tolonglah faham anakmu ini. ishk. 

thanx harry :)

Have you ever felt,

Like you were holding a fragile heart,

That could break any second,

And then it shatters,

And you don't know how to fix it?

Then your world goes wild,

With everything spinning but you,

You stand still and stare at the moment,

Not knowing what to say,

Not even paying attention anymore.

You want to say something to help the moment,

But tears are saying enough.

I want to hold the pieces of your broken heart,

And put it back to one.

I hold you close,

Hoping you can forgive me,

For hurting you so badly,

I tell you I love you,

And it's far from a lie.

I cry on your chest,

Apologizing again and again

You finally pull me away and lift my face up towards yours,

I look into your eyes,

Wanting to turn away,

But I'm forced by love to keep looking.

And you say the three words I longed to hear

::I love you::

You wipe away the tears,

Leaning forward to place a kiss upon my lips,

And you pull me away,

Holding me close as you can,

You tell me once more at the same time I tell you::

::143::

p/s: thanx harry :)

bad and best thursday of the week. apakah?

best and bad things happen at the same day.hmm.

de interview on thursday.position as QC. bukan queen control tapi quality control. tah pape. company ape? terpakse rahsia. hahaha. takde la. company bus je. location sangat la jauh extravaganza. puchong, s'gor. memula dah tertutup hati nak pergi sebab thinking of the place yg sgt jauh and susah nak pegi. tapi, ade orang tu baik hati sangat-sangat. sanggup volunteer nak hantarkan. at the same time, die nk buat surprise come to kl from johor. surprise kne cakap ke? hahahaha. at first, i thot die gurau2 je.so, i didnt take it seriously. but, after work hour on wednesday he text me he's on the way to kl. OMG. i am sooo speechless. ok, let me tell. this part is the best/good part, i mean he's coming to kl. gosh, i am sooooooooooo miss him damn much! sebab before this asyik jumpe like 1 hour and 15 minutes. ishk ishk sangat lah tak memuaskan hati. kan kan?so then, this time bleh spent time lame sket. heheh *evil* hehe. so, he drive from BP and arrive KL that night. meet him* best best* miss*miss* muah*muah* :) plus here, the advance birthday gift si-die bagi. sgt suke. eventho its pink. *OMG!* but, still i like it sooo much!

ok,the bad part is here. on thursday morning. bangun awal extra and ready nak pegi interview. seriously. i'm not prepare anything. just bring the CV and whatever they ask me to bring. the problem actually masing2 tak tao jalan. maka dengan itu, bantai je ikut alamat and stop at petronas tanye "kak, tau tak mne jalan ni" mmg cm haram la. si dia dah penat gile but at the end sampai at location before the interview time. huhu. then, the problem comes in mind. hati berbelah bahagi nak pegi interview ke tak. sebab jauh and rasa mcm tak worth it. the company banyak lelaki and the place is so ceruk. tau ceruk? huhuhuh. lepas call beberapa org, last-last pegi gak. si dia pon masuk teman g interview. the interview going well for just half and hour. the result dpt next week, but confirm tak dapat. who cares?!! hahaha. lepas interview, forward to alamanda for lunch. jaoh gila lunch. lepas lunch, dpt call suh amik cakes kt damansara. damn gila. mane tau jalan. from like 12.30 to 3.00 pm sesat. gila! si dia dah exhausted tahap maximum. muka da ketat gila. kaki dah sakit. huh! pusing-pusing tempat yg sama. sampai masuk penchala. tah haram jadah betul. lepas damansara pegi times. si-dia tgu kawan. lama like hell. kaki dia dah sakit and badan dah penat. pusing-pusing time cari barang. tapi, hampa tak ade yang berkenan. sedih! plus, we both have little argument.urgh! sedey *sob.sob* on the way nak blik dr times, dpt phone call kawan nak jmpe kt kg.bru. as we both dah sgt2 exhausted, we ask they to picked us at someplace sbb when night dah tak ingat jalan sgt. drpd menggilakan diri dgn sesat, better tunggu. hang out like till 11.30 and arrived wangsa around 12. suddenly, tiba2 teringat promise dgn some friend near home nk hang out. last2 ask the friend to come to the house. lepak2 depan rumah dgn si-dia till 1 a.m. that night we both sgt-sgt exhausted.so, tgk2 tv and tido mati. damn u sesat!!!

the next morning, si-dia terpakse bgn awal sbb nak hantar me and sis to work as our cousins, ok actually whole family is sakit mata. cuz she supposedly anta and going to work together.ishk ishk. haishh. si-dia hantar to lrt and straight going back to johor. *sob sob*miss you already* plus here, he again sesat when going back to johor that morning. hehehe. sian u sesat sorang2. but, at last sampai juga BP. weee~

actually sgt kesian kt si-dia. penat drive dr BP. then, menyusahkan si-die pegi sane sini dengan jalan yang tatao langsung, main redah je. membazir minyak merata-rata. kesian.makan minum yang tak tentu hala. kehabisan fulus yang unexpected.i'm little bit feel guilty about it cuz menyusahkan dia sgt-sgt. huhuhuhu. but, at the same time also thanx to si-dia buat surprise dtg kl. the advance birthday gift that he give! thanx sgt-sgt! he sacrifice his time to drive to kl and spent with me eventho it's limited sgt-sgt.si-dia hantar pegi interview, pusing-pusing kl sampai sesat. hehehe. thanx sgt2. suke suke *gedix* sorry ye dear kalau i susahkan u. hehehe. sorry sebab marah2 u in the car. sbb mase tu da give up cri jalan and we both damn exhausted. huhuhu. sorry sgt. nasiblah awak tu da biase dgn i. hahaha. *geli.geli*

The best and bad thing happen on the same day.rasenye bende2 mcm ni susah sgt nk berlaku dlm life. rasanye lah. kot. but, its an experience! ok la. both things happen in one day and sgt-sgt exhausted dgn lots of sux things happen but at least i spent time with him all day! yeay!! thats priceless dear!! miss you already.sayang kamu~

thanx for everything dear :)

p/s: i love u :)

happy birthday!

happy birthday mummy :)

Mrs.Rohaini Abdullah

Mother of three daughter. Wife to Hubby Ismail Alwi. Daughter of Abdullah and Nyah.

This wish for you Mother

Straight from the heart and sincere.

With more special meaning than words can impart...

May your day hold pleasures that your fondest of...

And remember each day you're thought of with Love.

Happy Birthday

thanks for being the greatest mother in the world

p/s: Love u :)

balik raya yang suwey

Terlalu banyak insiden raya yang berlaku dpt hidup aku. ada yang indah, ada yang mcm sampah. ya, sampah. tahun ni, kali pertama aku berpuasa di KL sbb kerjaya yang tak seberapa. kerja tak penat, tapi perjalanan yg jauh buat aku setiap hari aku tido jam 9. inilah kali pertama tido awal gila. kol 9 dah kong. biarlah. badanku letih, manje betul dia ni. ishk

raya kali ni balik dr kl naik bas. tiket beli last minit. ade pulak. musykil dah sebenarnya.yelah, kot2 bas tambahan or bas persiaran. tapi, sebab nak raya balik je la and that abg kaunter said it is not bas tambahan. hmmm.layan je. the real day and date, pegilah aku kat bukit jalil. leceh betul, tapi layankan aje. the first bad thing happen to me that time was i was bitten by something i'm not sure what is it. maybe its a bee or wutever and slowly my mouth was swollen mcm shit gila. then ,ppl in the bus keep asking "dik, bas nk g johor mane satu..." and etc.so, im just sengih mcm kerang busuk and nodding je. plus the suwey thing was the BUS! mmg la bukan bas tambahan, but bus ting tong. the bus is like rapid kl punye bas. mmg btul2 suwey that night. seriously. plus again, when im in the bus at first dah setting elok nk duduk kt seat tu. suddenly the bus driver as me to transfer other place sbb bla bla bla. mls nk layan. dah la that time, my mouth yg bengkak tu make me just sound like "hmm..hmm." damn btul. mcm lembu! the place then oh, gosh sempit gila. the girl yang stay beside me, like put all her stuff and at last im just sit half of the seat. mmg damn gila la. %#@()*&(! thank God, that my dearly Harry yg keep comforting and persuade me through the phone. Thanks syg! kalau u takde, mmg dah EMo je. heheh :P

when it is nearly nk smpai the location. i'm oversleep and terbangun trus sampai. at first, tak recognise langsung my own place but after detect certain place i just like "oh, dah smpai rupenye!". that girl next to me dah la bukan org johor. damn btul. nasib aku tak terlajak pegi tempat lain. haish. useless sungguh! sampai2 rumah, rushing pegi mirror tgk the progression of my mouth! budus. im sooo ugly. my sister ckp "rilex la, cool la u dik, like angelina jolie" mcm siot je! my mom very worried and ask me "hey, dik..cpt2 letak minyak..tuam2 sket. dah nak raya ni.." yes, thats the answer yg make me feel relieved. love u mom! daddy pulak keep saying " abislah spoiled family picture tahun ni..huhu" haishh...sabar je laaaa.

raya kali ni tak berapa nk feel. entah la. after i lost my cousin and busy with the working placement at KL make me like tak de mood nk raya but still i'm trying hard to just go with the flow of the preparation at home. my family dah ready mcm2, takkan nk ignore je kan? so, how about just layan je, ok? im not hypocrite but sometimes pretending to be happy is considered la and it depends on situation. suke2 je buat conclusion. hehehehe.

so, whatever happen in life i will just keep going. LIFE MUST GO ON. kan?

1st syawal comes in a few minutes, so to all Muslim in the world wish you

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

Wish you may have the Success,prosperous and Happiness in your life. May Allah bless you in this auspicious day of eid mubarak. Amin~

p/s: wish goes especially to KIPAS, heroes 9903, UniMAP Material Eng 05/09, GEMS STC '02 esp GREEN GLOBAL and Ainol, Eni, Fadil, Sapik, In and Intan :) Special to my syg Harry *MISS you* :)

makin hari makin benci

(hanya gambar semata-mata)

(hanya gambar semata-mata)

dulu setiap kali di atas jalan raya, melihatkan kenderaan yg besar mcm ni tak ade perasaan langsung. macam tak amik kisah ape yang pemandu nk buat. walhal, dalam berita dan suratkhabar dah penuh cerita dgn pemandu lori yang bawa laju dan merbahaya hingga melibatkan kemalangan jiwa dan kematian. semua hal-hal ni dulu, aku takat amik lepas mata je. atas alasan, tiada kaitan dalam hidup aku. tap, itu semua dulu. sekarang, bila dalam kereta aku mesti berperasaan emo dan dendam melihat lori yang ada. tak kira lori pasir, lori trailer atau segala macam jenis lori. aku jadi EMO.

kenape ek?

arwah sepupu kesayangan aku. pergi meninggalkan dunia ini sebabkan kenderaan atau menatang besar tu. arwah dalam perjalanan menuntut ilmu di melaka. tanpa semena-mena, lori durjana buat pusingan U lantas melibas arwah yang menaiki motosikal. kejadian berlaku sekelip mata. sehingga kini, aku masih tak boleh menerima kehilangan dia. walaupun luaran, aku mcm 'ok' tap hati ni menahan sebak setiap kali teringat dia. kemalangan itu bukan sampai situ je, walaupun berlaku bulan puasa di mana sepatutnya umat melakukan kebaikan tetapi pemandu lori yg durjana ini tiada muhasabah diri langsung. dek melepaskan diri takut di kenakan tindakan dan takut, pemandu lori mengalihkan kedudukan motosikal arwah seolah-olah kemalangan tu seperti arwah yang terbabas melanggar lori tu. Nasib rakan-rakan yang ada disekeliling mengambil gmbar pemandu lori yg sgt bodoh itu. Ya ALLAH, perasaan marah yg tersemat dalam hati hanya Tuhan yang tahu. itu baru aku sbg sepupu, bayangkan perasaan keluarganya. bila anak kesayangan diperlakukan begitu. bayangkan lah!

dulu hanya memandang tanpa perasaan kpd lori-lori begini, tapi sekarang. makin hari makin benci. tak sangka apa yang digembar-gemburkan dalam suratkhabar dan mulut manusia sekalian adalah realiti yang berlaku di atas dunia ni. Astagfirullahal'azim.

geram kan.

khas untuk nassriq safie. ok?

aku n nasmer

nasmer dan eni

entri kali ni khas utk si nasmer. gambar tak clear sbb photographer tak bertauliah. harap maaf, ye. :)

*additional*

nasmer.baru kenal kt senai. padehal satu U.entah cmne boleh miss tgk die.apek, aku jumpe plak.si kecik tu. padehal satu tempat je kt tmn muhibah, perlis.entah. kt senai, kire cm hot gak la. (kantoi..jeng jeng). lalala~

p/s: ok, settle :)

benci

(deviantart by TiaDanko)

Cobalah Kau Rasakan

Air Mata Ini

Sanggupkah Kau Temani

Setiap Titis Setiaku

aku Bagai Mendung

Yang Setia Pada Hujannya

Akan Selalu Ada

dan Terus Bertahan

Senyummu Takkan Terganti

Maafku Takkan Memilih

Sabarku Slalu Berharap

Kau Kembali

Reff

Jawab Jawablah Tanyaku Ini

Apa ku Tlah Di Hatimu

Atau Kau Hanya Mimpiku

Tolong Katakan Katakan Padaku Bila

ku Tak Ada Di Hatimu

Biarlah Kau Hidup Di Mimpiku

**********

i hate when it come to feel like this. i just don't know how to express it by words.real words that could explain everything.GOSH.oh,God. Please gimme strength to face the real world, reality of life which is complicated and all obstacle that i hope i could deal with. All this feeling i wish it just temporary and it doesnt stuck in me forever. Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone. right??

***********

Tag from Elya

25 fact about me

sometimes when talking about facts, ppl might say "oooh, ive lots of facts about me", but when it comes to list them down, they like errrr.. so, thats me! when it comes talking about myself, i just don't know. seriously. but, this time. i'll try my best. here it goes~

1-i'm addicted to ESTRANGED!
2-i enjoy doing art, especially when it comes to abstract art~ everything that comes into mind, i'll sketch it.
3-i love my kipasSUSAHmati. yes, im the one who always tak pegi any reunion or gathering. but, seriously inside i just love them soo much.
4-i have a boyfriend which is my very bestfriend. *luv*
5-i've just completed my training and continued doing my apprenticeship at Telekom, KL.
6- hang out with friends is one of the things that i enjoy so much!
7-eating roti pisang with my bestfriend, panda bear is my favourite thing to do. :P
8-i can stand in front of the laptop than eating very delicious food in front of me.seriously. i like surfing internet!
9-if a place have pool, i can stay in the pool all day! i just love it~
10-i have lots of diary! since secondary school till now, i write everything in my dairy! it will become my memory~
11-i'm the youngest and weirdo in the family. have two sister which we have the same front name.
12-i miss my pillow talk members. seriously~
13-when it comes to something important, i usually get the task alone to completed it than being with my friends. seriously.
14-i am emotional person but when it comes to work. i try my best to avoid it.
15-i am easy to fall with someone. be careful~ however, i prefer to have a 'teman tapi mesra'. HAHA :)
16- i kept everything myself but when i just cannot hold it, i'll talk to my bestfriend or write it on my diary.
17-i love green, black and brown. :)
18-they say my body shape looks like fara fauzana. ye ke? drumstick? gosh!
19-i'm on my diet. avoiding rice , meat, chicken and egg. <--are you sure?? gosh!
20-i am very organize ppl, i hate being in the messy place. Headache!
21-when it comes to new friends, i will get very silent and shy. i'm not easy to make friends at the first place.
22-i just lost my favourite cousin last friday because of an tragic accident. i really miss him badly!
23-till now, at the age of 23 i still dun have any license! HAHAH :)
24-i want camera DSLR badly as i love taking pictures!
25- i want to get married before 2011. HAHAHAHA :)

Done.

Thanx to elya!

Tag?

Anyone who read this! your turn!!