Friday, May 6, 2011

be strong

sejak menjak lepas pulih dari sakit.ini ayat yang terima dari orang sekeliling dan paling mengejutkan ialah boss aku. " be strong confident. if you dont have the confident yet, it would developed day by day." ye lah bos!entah aku tatau nak cakap apa.lepas pulih, ayat nak marah tak ada dan hanya cuma ayat yang frustrated dan mengecewakan ( sama je kan). ayat itu je yang keluar dan terus meleleh air mata ni terlalu menahan marah, menahan perasaan dan bukan dendam cuma ini hak sebagai pekerja. ( obviously ini pasal kerja la okay?) so, be strong. yes! i am trying now! please lah okay! i think i've been bullied. not sure by who but from someone observation saying that i am toooo KIND. yeke? am i? entah. but, now i feel it. now i feel it that i'm just the black sheep. tapi, black sheep aku pon i bring the names of the company okay? please notice that! ingat tu.

day by day. i trying hard develop myself a self confidence to face true life after been suffering in the hospital. seriously i am traumatized. ive been off day from work for 3 weeks and when come back to office, i starting to blur, low confidence and kelam-kabut yang pasti. i wish i would built up the confidence to face my life. i know that life is such a lies but thats the fact that i need to face it. sedih kan? whatever it is life must goes on! face it mai! i wish that mom and dad would stay with me here, but i know it will never happen...homesick. be strong mai!.. mom and dad everyday keep remind me to take care of myself and tabahkan hati.. insyaAllah. i wish sister also here too taking care of me but it definitely not happen..the thing is i wish my BF is keeping me company or take care of me even we are so far away but it not happen actually which is i am so frustrated. i dont know whats on his mind? Motor? Photograph thingy? Studio? Shoot pictures? am i included? Am i? I wish i am but i never feel it. Not even once. sedih kan. orang yang kita sayang, yang kita harap kita dapat hidup dengan dia, orang yang kita sangka boleh jaga kita kala susah dan senang tapi hampa. hampa sangat. i feel like been left out. I love him so much but I am sad because of him. I only got him. Only him in my heart. Soo sad....

do not be afraid to fail.
be strong.
everything happen is for a reason.
Hope and pray everything will be okay.

notakaki: image courtesy from google-google.

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