Wont' u stay with me?

Halo! its been a while tak menjenguk blog. its not much but its worth for myself and for the future. kan? nak tulis apa? lots of things happen lately. Nak cerita banyak bende. tapi, layan dulu lagu ni la. EH?


by Sam smith- Stay with me.

Guess it's true, I'm not good at a one-night stand But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man These nights never seem to go to plan I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?
Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all I need This ain't love it's clear to see But darling, stay with me

Why am I so emotional? No it's not a good look, gain some self control And deep down I know this never works But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt Oh, won't you stay with me? 'Cause you're all I need This ain't love it's clear to see But darling, stay with me

#28wks #missinghusband #longdistancemarriage #staywithmesayang #tilldeathdousapart

one love for two guy

is it love or just infatuation?

blankserious.

one love for two guy.

bitter heart

Sun rays come down as seen when they hit the ground, 
Children spinning around till they fall down down down. 
I wait for you: it's been two hours now, 
You're still somewhere in town, 
Your dinners getting cold. 
I rest my case you are always this late, 
And you know how much I hate waiting around 'round 'round, 

Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside, 
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide, 
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is gettin' just a little fragile, 
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine.

And then you come and tell me the same reason as you did yesterday, 
So tell me whats her name. 
Doo doo da dum, doo doo da dum, doo doo doo doo doo doo da da dum dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum, da da da da dum. 
Bitter heart, bitter heart tries to keep it all inside 
Bitter heart, bitter heart shadows will help you try to hide, 
Bitter heart, my bitter heart is just getting a little fragile, 
Bitter heart, bitter heart of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine, of mine.

 image courtesy from deviantart (uploathe)

p/s: zee avi -bitter heart 

cry

sedang emo-ing in the corner of the room. wutever la. balik rumah terus menangis. touching? dgn sape? sape-sape je la. malas nk layan. aku ni unpredictable sket. even bende kecik pon, boleh melalak tak tentu pasal. hal-hal yang tiba-tiba berlaku pun, aku menangis. kdg-kdg hal yang buat aku tak nak kalah or ego, aku akan nangis. tah pape je kan? HAHAH. yes, that me. mim-alif-ya = mai. alin, yantea, alida, mimi and meen dah tao sgt perangai mase time blaja dulu. like hadi said " mye, the thing that i remember about you is every sem kau mesti gadoh dgn org. " mcm jahanam gak statement tu, but yes, thats me. previously. ok, cukop.

cry.yes. i'm crying.terlalu banyak bende nak difikirkan dalam hidup ni. kalau semua manusia sekeliling memahami ape yang aku nak, mungkin takkan jadi macam ni. tapi, the things is everyone around me seems like don't care and ignore me.so, i'm a little bit isolated. who cares? ok,mcm ni. menangis tentang ms depan yang still tak tau ape nak jadi. tak tao nk buat decision. byk option dlm life ni. bukan mereka tak care but i just don't feel like it. i, myself yang isolatekan diri sendiri. bile hal-hal berlaku, aku mesti start jad pendiam, xnak cite ape-ape, jadi speechless and bile bercakap aku merapu. Tsk. bile tah nak berubah ni.

lately ni asek ber-emo-ing je.layan perasaan.from the family matters and bf matters sampai la future punye hal. i'm thinking tooo much.seriously. bukan ape, i just  want the best. decision yang menyenangkan hati-aku, hati-dia dan yang penting hati-mama-ayah. baru fair kan? cakap mmg senang, tapi nak decide satu hal nak buat. pening. bile pk lagi, mesti aku menangis. tah pape je. also lately ni, my health is getting worst. kdg-kdg malam tak boleh tido. konon la msg kat die "i ngntokla..nyte" padehal, tak tido sgt pon.*sorry* tido mcm ayam. asek terbgn. sume psl environment rumah yang dusty buat aku kene telan  ubat setiap hari dan mengigil (side effect ubat) setiap pagi nak pegi kerja. tensen. plus, bile da rs berat ni semakin overload mulalah bdn sakit-sakit. so, kene diet. nasi? once a week. boleh saving. but, bile da tak mkn berat for meal everyday, mula-lah bila makan kluar balik. Tsk. bulimia? tak langsung. ape nak buat ni? kdg-kdg lapa, tapi bila mkn, kluar balik. Haish. tensen. T_T nangis lah. lapa. cmne nak mkn? pakai tiub bleh?

"the truth about girl is we are not ashamed to cry"

p/s: aku girl ok?

buntu dan blur.

harini perasaan mendatar je.
sebenarnye aku buntu.

dari dulu dah bertekad nk kerja lepas graduate tapi melihat keadaan sekarang macam hampa. macam-macam apply dan ade yang dah pegi interview.tapi, hasilnya semua aku tak berapa nak yakin.bila aku tanye org sekeliling, diorg cakap pk mase panjang bukan masa sekarang je. mmg niat nak kerja dalam environment factory or the bestest way is engineer. ade 2 -3 offer yang macam telur hujung tanduk. tambah-tambah lagi mama tak bagi environment yang dusty as my health is getting worst. haish. T_T ape nak buat? ape yang kita buat, mesti dapat restu mama and ayah.  

kes pertama. beberapa hari lepas, email utk sambung MSc. peluang depan mata, lecturer tu nak dtg S.A arini dan esok, tapi aku nak pegi jumpa mcam mane? aku tgh kje. plus, die email mcm agak lambat. tapi, at least die dropkan phone number. boleh contact. tapi, aku jad mcm tak sure je nak sambung. the lecturer interested dgn tajuk aku. tapi, sekarang masalahnye bukan pd USM or lecturer tu. tapi, pd aku. ishk. entah. buntu. nak decide. tambah lagi, aku nak g holiday dgn kipas thn dpn. kang buatkan kne date tu dgn presentation or wutsoever related to MSc. mampus aku. aku pk macam-macam sgt. terlalu kedepan ke? aku mmg tak suka susah di kemudian hari, better susah sekarang. kan?

kes kedua. mama beriya suruh jadi teacher. bukan tak nak. tapi, x yakin. bile niat dah ade.offer tu xde.skang bila ade offer, aku plak yang tamau. now, mama yang excited ask her friend at government to get me into that field. teaching! oh,dem. then, my uncle work at putrajaya. so, mama want me to be there too. oh, saya bukan tamau mama. saya sedang cuba dgn usaha saya sendiri. saya tak reti mengajar plus saya garang. kang ade plak anak murid yang report kt parents, teacher garang sgt tak leh nk concentrate blaja. ishk. mati aku.
mmg sedare mara saya ramai juge yg government, so banyak la kabel. even petronas or wutsoever big compny, ade kabel. but, the problem is kalau dgn kabel. limited sgt nak buat ape2 and plus my movement n everything that i do is seems like catch all ppl eye. tak suka. saya lebih rela susah dgn usaha sy sendiri walaupun menangis air mata darah sekali pun. ceh. 

kes ketiga.saya buntu. saya nak kerja. tapi, saya memilih. salah ke? walaupun da apply mcm-mcm dan ade juge interview yang agak mengarut (nak pegi sangat..saje nk try), tapi atas desakan org sekeliling dan fam, sy tolak mentah-mentah dgn alasan basi. saya serius nak kerja. tapi, kenapa lately ni asyik tak bersemangat je. entahlah. buntu.

kes keempat.saya buntu nak cari duit kat mane. dah besar2 ni, semua dgn duet sndrik. dah tak nak mintak-mintak. segan nak mintak ayah mak unless mama phm n hulur2 sket2 :P beli ape2 pun, dgn sendrik punya keringat. terharu. walaupun, hanya dgn elaun. masih gagah bertahan smpai skang. mengenangkan si songkok tinggi yang jauh tu masih kecil lagi n kdg2 jadi banker pd die. letih juge. entahlah. mane la duet ni.cepat benor abes. ishk. sabar lah walletku dan kad-kad atm ku. 

dah separuh hari dalam office. kerja buat dalam mase 15 minit. pantas. sedang berusaha menaikkan semangat. semangat nak blaja dgn bende baru, tapi aku still blur. serius. plus, kenapa aku jadi segan-segan nak bertanya ni? bodo. aku serius nak sgt kerja ni. tapi, kenapa aku rs mcm aku tak buat ape2? perlukah bagitau semua org, yang aku buat keje? kenape org lain yang dpt compliment dgn ape yang aku buat? sedey. tapi, aku x kesah pun. *tipu* entahlah. lame-lame aku akan ignore la bende2 ni. aku rs aku terpinggir kt sini. walaupun syok ber'FB tapi, aku rs useless sgt.

perasaan mendatar betul arini. kalau nak senyum tu, rs mcm senyum tipu je. pura-pura suci? not me ok? i am very malas nak layan punye org. as work assigned to me, i'll work sunguh-sungguh2, but if pass-pass serius i can't understand wut i'm doing. :/

ya, Allah. bagilah petunjuk. sesungguhnya umatmu ini sgt buntu.

p/s: mcm nak balik sekarang. hati dah tiada di sini. mengape? -_-

sama tak serupa

p/s: lagi 10 minit air-cond nk off.busan.

plan tahun depan

(click for large size)

alamak.gambar upload.kecik je.huhu.mesti sakit mata tgk gambar ni kecik. ni PMB *project manager bandung* yang email. fuiyoh! dasat. ni screenshot trip pegi bandung next year. through air asia. thanx ecah.<--PMB

awal gila planning. harap-harap jadi la. da lame x jumpe kipas susah mati .rindu gile. padehal aku tatau ape yang akan berlaku in the future.yelah, lambat lagi kan? huhu. tapi, seronok plak mushroom ganaz a.k.a project manager bandung yang plan sume ni. *macam projek buat air bandung kt pasar malam* . macam best. :)

arini.aku down.pasal ape? malas nk stori. aku takot menyentuh perasaan di sekeliling aku. so, simpan dalam ati. walaupun sakit, takpelah. lame-lame hilanglah. kan? amin. harap-haraplah. plan bandung ni actually sgt menceriakan aku. sgt-sgt excited dpt pegi dgn kipas also dgn budak songkok tinggi. walaupun, passport takde lagi.tapi, sbb the trip tu on july. sempat la nk buat and kumpul duet kan? hehe. thanx sgt-sgt ecah. *mcm da byk kali ckp* biarlah.bukan slalu. ok.

trip to bandung. kene kumpul duet. dalam 5 ribu cukop ke? nak beli ape nanti ek? rasa macam nak start packing je. HAHAHAHA *excited lebih*

p/s: miss kipas susah mati :)

tua?

22 oktober, setiap tahun.

sakit kepala.

sakit pinggang.

demam.

selsema.

batuk.

pening.

mengidam macam-macam. *handphone baru, plis*

oh,sudah dua-puloh tiga!

tuakah?

boleh kahwin. kan?

*gedix*

p/s: happy birthday! Thanks pink poptone :) love u (:

thanx harry :)

Have you ever felt,

Like you were holding a fragile heart,

That could break any second,

And then it shatters,

And you don't know how to fix it?

Then your world goes wild,

With everything spinning but you,

You stand still and stare at the moment,

Not knowing what to say,

Not even paying attention anymore.

You want to say something to help the moment,

But tears are saying enough.

I want to hold the pieces of your broken heart,

And put it back to one.

I hold you close,

Hoping you can forgive me,

For hurting you so badly,

I tell you I love you,

And it's far from a lie.

I cry on your chest,

Apologizing again and again

You finally pull me away and lift my face up towards yours,

I look into your eyes,

Wanting to turn away,

But I'm forced by love to keep looking.

And you say the three words I longed to hear

::I love you::

You wipe away the tears,

Leaning forward to place a kiss upon my lips,

And you pull me away,

Holding me close as you can,

You tell me once more at the same time I tell you::

::143::

p/s: thanx harry :)

balik raya yang suwey

Terlalu banyak insiden raya yang berlaku dpt hidup aku. ada yang indah, ada yang mcm sampah. ya, sampah. tahun ni, kali pertama aku berpuasa di KL sbb kerjaya yang tak seberapa. kerja tak penat, tapi perjalanan yg jauh buat aku setiap hari aku tido jam 9. inilah kali pertama tido awal gila. kol 9 dah kong. biarlah. badanku letih, manje betul dia ni. ishk

raya kali ni balik dr kl naik bas. tiket beli last minit. ade pulak. musykil dah sebenarnya.yelah, kot2 bas tambahan or bas persiaran. tapi, sebab nak raya balik je la and that abg kaunter said it is not bas tambahan. hmmm.layan je. the real day and date, pegilah aku kat bukit jalil. leceh betul, tapi layankan aje. the first bad thing happen to me that time was i was bitten by something i'm not sure what is it. maybe its a bee or wutever and slowly my mouth was swollen mcm shit gila. then ,ppl in the bus keep asking "dik, bas nk g johor mane satu..." and etc.so, im just sengih mcm kerang busuk and nodding je. plus the suwey thing was the BUS! mmg la bukan bas tambahan, but bus ting tong. the bus is like rapid kl punye bas. mmg btul2 suwey that night. seriously. plus again, when im in the bus at first dah setting elok nk duduk kt seat tu. suddenly the bus driver as me to transfer other place sbb bla bla bla. mls nk layan. dah la that time, my mouth yg bengkak tu make me just sound like "hmm..hmm." damn btul. mcm lembu! the place then oh, gosh sempit gila. the girl yang stay beside me, like put all her stuff and at last im just sit half of the seat. mmg damn gila la. %#@()*&(! thank God, that my dearly Harry yg keep comforting and persuade me through the phone. Thanks syg! kalau u takde, mmg dah EMo je. heheh :P

when it is nearly nk smpai the location. i'm oversleep and terbangun trus sampai. at first, tak recognise langsung my own place but after detect certain place i just like "oh, dah smpai rupenye!". that girl next to me dah la bukan org johor. damn btul. nasib aku tak terlajak pegi tempat lain. haish. useless sungguh! sampai2 rumah, rushing pegi mirror tgk the progression of my mouth! budus. im sooo ugly. my sister ckp "rilex la, cool la u dik, like angelina jolie" mcm siot je! my mom very worried and ask me "hey, dik..cpt2 letak minyak..tuam2 sket. dah nak raya ni.." yes, thats the answer yg make me feel relieved. love u mom! daddy pulak keep saying " abislah spoiled family picture tahun ni..huhu" haishh...sabar je laaaa.

raya kali ni tak berapa nk feel. entah la. after i lost my cousin and busy with the working placement at KL make me like tak de mood nk raya but still i'm trying hard to just go with the flow of the preparation at home. my family dah ready mcm2, takkan nk ignore je kan? so, how about just layan je, ok? im not hypocrite but sometimes pretending to be happy is considered la and it depends on situation. suke2 je buat conclusion. hehehehe.

so, whatever happen in life i will just keep going. LIFE MUST GO ON. kan?

1st syawal comes in a few minutes, so to all Muslim in the world wish you

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI

MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN

Wish you may have the Success,prosperous and Happiness in your life. May Allah bless you in this auspicious day of eid mubarak. Amin~

p/s: wish goes especially to KIPAS, heroes 9903, UniMAP Material Eng 05/09, GEMS STC '02 esp GREEN GLOBAL and Ainol, Eni, Fadil, Sapik, In and Intan :) Special to my syg Harry *MISS you* :)

makin hari makin benci

(hanya gambar semata-mata)

(hanya gambar semata-mata)

dulu setiap kali di atas jalan raya, melihatkan kenderaan yg besar mcm ni tak ade perasaan langsung. macam tak amik kisah ape yang pemandu nk buat. walhal, dalam berita dan suratkhabar dah penuh cerita dgn pemandu lori yang bawa laju dan merbahaya hingga melibatkan kemalangan jiwa dan kematian. semua hal-hal ni dulu, aku takat amik lepas mata je. atas alasan, tiada kaitan dalam hidup aku. tap, itu semua dulu. sekarang, bila dalam kereta aku mesti berperasaan emo dan dendam melihat lori yang ada. tak kira lori pasir, lori trailer atau segala macam jenis lori. aku jadi EMO.

kenape ek?

arwah sepupu kesayangan aku. pergi meninggalkan dunia ini sebabkan kenderaan atau menatang besar tu. arwah dalam perjalanan menuntut ilmu di melaka. tanpa semena-mena, lori durjana buat pusingan U lantas melibas arwah yang menaiki motosikal. kejadian berlaku sekelip mata. sehingga kini, aku masih tak boleh menerima kehilangan dia. walaupun luaran, aku mcm 'ok' tap hati ni menahan sebak setiap kali teringat dia. kemalangan itu bukan sampai situ je, walaupun berlaku bulan puasa di mana sepatutnya umat melakukan kebaikan tetapi pemandu lori yg durjana ini tiada muhasabah diri langsung. dek melepaskan diri takut di kenakan tindakan dan takut, pemandu lori mengalihkan kedudukan motosikal arwah seolah-olah kemalangan tu seperti arwah yang terbabas melanggar lori tu. Nasib rakan-rakan yang ada disekeliling mengambil gmbar pemandu lori yg sgt bodoh itu. Ya ALLAH, perasaan marah yg tersemat dalam hati hanya Tuhan yang tahu. itu baru aku sbg sepupu, bayangkan perasaan keluarganya. bila anak kesayangan diperlakukan begitu. bayangkan lah!

dulu hanya memandang tanpa perasaan kpd lori-lori begini, tapi sekarang. makin hari makin benci. tak sangka apa yang digembar-gemburkan dalam suratkhabar dan mulut manusia sekalian adalah realiti yang berlaku di atas dunia ni. Astagfirullahal'azim.

geram kan.

benci

(deviantart by TiaDanko)

Cobalah Kau Rasakan

Air Mata Ini

Sanggupkah Kau Temani

Setiap Titis Setiaku

aku Bagai Mendung

Yang Setia Pada Hujannya

Akan Selalu Ada

dan Terus Bertahan

Senyummu Takkan Terganti

Maafku Takkan Memilih

Sabarku Slalu Berharap

Kau Kembali

Reff

Jawab Jawablah Tanyaku Ini

Apa ku Tlah Di Hatimu

Atau Kau Hanya Mimpiku

Tolong Katakan Katakan Padaku Bila

ku Tak Ada Di Hatimu

Biarlah Kau Hidup Di Mimpiku

**********

i hate when it come to feel like this. i just don't know how to express it by words.real words that could explain everything.GOSH.oh,God. Please gimme strength to face the real world, reality of life which is complicated and all obstacle that i hope i could deal with. All this feeling i wish it just temporary and it doesnt stuck in me forever. Why love if losing hurts so much? We love to know that we are not alone. right??

***********

Tag from Elya

25 fact about me

sometimes when talking about facts, ppl might say "oooh, ive lots of facts about me", but when it comes to list them down, they like errrr.. so, thats me! when it comes talking about myself, i just don't know. seriously. but, this time. i'll try my best. here it goes~

1-i'm addicted to ESTRANGED!
2-i enjoy doing art, especially when it comes to abstract art~ everything that comes into mind, i'll sketch it.
3-i love my kipasSUSAHmati. yes, im the one who always tak pegi any reunion or gathering. but, seriously inside i just love them soo much.
4-i have a boyfriend which is my very bestfriend. *luv*
5-i've just completed my training and continued doing my apprenticeship at Telekom, KL.
6- hang out with friends is one of the things that i enjoy so much!
7-eating roti pisang with my bestfriend, panda bear is my favourite thing to do. :P
8-i can stand in front of the laptop than eating very delicious food in front of me.seriously. i like surfing internet!
9-if a place have pool, i can stay in the pool all day! i just love it~
10-i have lots of diary! since secondary school till now, i write everything in my dairy! it will become my memory~
11-i'm the youngest and weirdo in the family. have two sister which we have the same front name.
12-i miss my pillow talk members. seriously~
13-when it comes to something important, i usually get the task alone to completed it than being with my friends. seriously.
14-i am emotional person but when it comes to work. i try my best to avoid it.
15-i am easy to fall with someone. be careful~ however, i prefer to have a 'teman tapi mesra'. HAHA :)
16- i kept everything myself but when i just cannot hold it, i'll talk to my bestfriend or write it on my diary.
17-i love green, black and brown. :)
18-they say my body shape looks like fara fauzana. ye ke? drumstick? gosh!
19-i'm on my diet. avoiding rice , meat, chicken and egg. <--are you sure?? gosh!
20-i am very organize ppl, i hate being in the messy place. Headache!
21-when it comes to new friends, i will get very silent and shy. i'm not easy to make friends at the first place.
22-i just lost my favourite cousin last friday because of an tragic accident. i really miss him badly!
23-till now, at the age of 23 i still dun have any license! HAHAH :)
24-i want camera DSLR badly as i love taking pictures!
25- i want to get married before 2011. HAHAHAHA :)

Done.

Thanx to elya!

Tag?

Anyone who read this! your turn!!

my pari-pari bantal

pari-pari bantal?

it sounds like..errr, what the fish? haha. i just called them my pari-pari bantal on few reason. yes, they are my angel.my bestest angel!!! bantal? means my angel in my dreams. during the night they been through in my dreams and cheer me up! seriously. there's some ppl around us might admire with our friendship that just build up by two and half months. maybe or probably yes. but, who cares? aite? we've been together whole day and nights, doing jobs, being in the classes, hang out till morning, laughing, crying, shoulder to cry on and lots more. all the memories that we've been through will be remembered for eternity. yes! it will :)

shafik.intan.in.fadil.me.ainul.eni.


eni.me.in.intan.fadil.

shafik. *peneman setia handphone and hayati yang jauh dimata dekat di hati*
intan *someone that can transform into dayana anytime. be careful :P*

intan *call her in but when she get wild call her salwana. ahaha. *
fadil * the coolest and closest with in. lalala *

eni * the closest with me.the craziest and bestest laugh that i've ever feel.whenever with her, i am soo happy. thanx darling. luve u *

ainul * the craziest and unexpected panda bear.hahaha. cute LOL. he's brighten and cheer up the life! my feveret angel :)*



ainul.eni.intan.in.shafik.fadil.

"If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will."

p/s: miss you guys soo much! :)

speechless

"What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch, we may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget"

***********

kdg2 kita tak expect dgn apa yang berlaku akan dtg. the excitement of coming home on friday is actually something saddest happen in my life. farewell with the closest friends in GEMS and the biggest lost of my cousin . speechless. i just dun know what else to say and express the feeling. as the tears keeps falling till now. everytime the past memories comes by, i just look at the sky and wish that he could hear and see us through and know that how important he is to us. he's everything to us. from his father side and also his mother side.

Salam.eventhough mase kecik the moment you still stay in muar, both of us keep fighthing and all the moments of your naughtiness still in my mind. how naughty are you are actually make us smiling all day. i always start the fight wish that i could make you cry first but then im the one who cry first and you are the one who celebrate the victory of making me cry. gosh. all moments that we having together when youre still kids and till at the age of 18, will remembered for eternity and forever. never fade.

dear Salam.you'll be miss and remembered forever in our heart and soul. Semoga roh Abdul Salam dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan dikalangan hamba-Nya yang beriman dan soleh. Amin~

Al-fatihah~

***********

p/s: im just soooo damn sad! gosh!!! i miss you Salam!!! badly!

nama aku mai, bukan ana. ok?

khusyuk menelaah pelajaran utk subjek yang terakhir di semester yg terakhir.

esok exam yang terakhir jam 9.00 pagi.

tiba-tiba,

one message received

9.30 p.m

"nak pic ana jugak. nak jugak.nak jugak..urrmmmh"

aku maizura. kawan-kawan panggil mai. ana? tak de dlm suku kata nama aku langsung.

siapa ana??

feel nk study trus mati. nota-nota yang susah payah dibuat beberapa hari sebelum exam aku letak tepi. aku pandang ke luar blok. mengeluh. termenung. berusaha utk tidak memikirkan tentang bende remeh tu tap, aku kalah.

aku kalah dgn mesej yg remeh tu. kalah dgn bermacam-macam cara. aku pasrah.menangis.emo.

tapi, ke-egoan lelaki. aku menang.

yes! biar aku je yang tau, ape yang aku menang dgn dia.

bukan aku nak sgt kemenangan tu. aku tak raikan dgn apa2 pun. cuma kejujuran dia yang aku nak. itu je. jujur tu kan penting dalam hubungan. kan? kan? malas nk merepek bende jiwang-jiwang ni. haish. siapa ana tu. aku bukan kesah. mmg aku jeles. itu hakikat seorang wanita. tap, dia bukan ada hubungan yang sah dgn aku lagi. siapa aku nk kongkong hidup dia.

yang penting , pandai berkapel pandai la tangung risiko. ye tak?

notakaki : berkapel bukan utk keseronokan atau main-main. bukan utk harta-benda. tap, untuk apa? sendiri mau pikir lah! sebab tu la aku jeles.

hope it gives you hell

(credit to SOS photography -deviantart)

seriously.i'm EMO. i used to let the anger conquer by throw up some stuff, slammed up the door like hell, shout out loud to ppl who mess with me, curse like f%%*& and there's so many stuff i'll do. yes, i used to be that kind person who actually doing something stupid when i'm soo emo. yes, that is the fact of the past but now, it is not anymore. seriously. believe it or not. i'll speechless. all the anger and emo feeling i'll kept in myself and the bestest thing to let the anger is just by crying. yes, CRYING. at last i'm acting like a girl.

have you experience of ppl that who doing stuff or finished work at the veryyyy last minute. its doesnt matter if it is the last minute you'll do its only going to ruined your own life, not someone else and not involve anyone else. but, this case is probably ruined and spoiled someone else and someone is ME!!! yes, its me.

Gosh. the exam schedule has been on portal since last month and the due date for any changes if papers clash are last month! last month dude!! seriously. how could you just check the exam schedule in study week or specifically YESTERDAY and by your own, you can change the exam schedule at your own decision cuz the paper clash at the time when we only got 5 days to final exam.! HUARGH! thought that it will be happier when the exam is delay, huh? don't think all classmates will love it since got plenty of time to study. yes, MAJOR of it will be happy. but, that is NOT me, ok? im soo planning everything for the past 3 months that exam will be over early like it supposed to be. then, suddenly on exam week you guys can change the exam schedule just because you guys JUST REALIZE that your paper taken are clash YESTERDAY!

yes, i am so EMO when it is announce, i was totally surprise and guessing that i'm the only one who will be pissed off and else will be happy. YEAY! <-damn! even the acquantainces also never feel sympathize. i never heard they say "oh, rileks la mye..bleh study lame sket? " i guess. its kinda make me DOWN actually. sorry if not. really? seriously, i'm speechless. you guys RUINED and SPOILED everything. yes, you guys deserve it and admit it your fault.

after all, i'll hve to take as true and the reality that all the plan will NEVER happen. THANKS a lot!

i accept you two apologetic.where's the other two? it doesnt count anymore as this is the final semester and i'll never experience it anymore. i hope!

Sorry and thousand apology for being such an EMO.<-this is what i am.

p/s: listen to all american rejects - gives you hell.

mye :d

kronologi yg huru hara.

dulu-dulu, zaman hingus thn pertama mmg lawak. first day pegi kelas pakai baju kurung siap dgn kasut bertutup. kalau yg lelaki, siap kemeja dan tali leher.. teringat senior yg nampak, mesti gelak besar. sgtlah skema dulu. setiap kali aktiviti, mesti pegi tanpa byk tanya. takut kne marah..aku tak tipu. sebab dulu aku kene duduk hostel dgn student tahun 4. mmg kene ikut kate la. mase ni, perangai sekolah sebagai seorang 'rebeler' mmg tak terlintas langsung dlm pale otak.sungguh! byk cite aku tahun satu.pegi mati la nk cite kat kau. bukan kau nk hargai pon ape aku cite. kan? ah, lantak lah.yang penting isu yg kne ingat mase ni ialah 'friendship'. kau paham x friendship? kapal kawan. biasenye kedengaran setiap tahun pade 5 Ogos. 'happy friendship day'!. tap,itu bukan isu yg aku nk bicarakan sama kau! (uih,bicara?)..

begini,aku mahu cerita kronologi kisah org yang aku berkawan. tap, sebelum itu. aku harap tiada siapa yg terasa hati sebab kisah ini sgt dah old-skool. Mcm org byk ckp 'let by gone, be by gone'. ok? maka, aku mintak maaf dr hujung rambut smpai hujung kaki. maaf ya.

• kawan sejati.mcm org dulu2 ckp.susah bersama senang pon bersama.biasa la, baru2 je kenal.setahun dua mmg kamceng.awal2 ni baru nk kenal perangai kawan2 sekeliling.ade yang emo, ade yg sensitip, ade je yang suke buat hal sndri, ade yg jad pak lawak (alida..), ade yg macam ketua, ade perangai mcm 'drama queen'. kesimpulannya, mcm2 la. aku tak larat nk cerita, kwn satu kos ade dlm lebih kurang 120 org. pegi mati la aku nk cite semua.

• kawan makan kawan.ha, ni tipikal statement yg bila kau dah kawan dgn org tu.konon2 ko da kamceng abes dgn die, kau pijak kepale die..kau suke2 hati kontrol life kawan kau. bila sorg anggap 'bestfriend', sorg lagi hanya anggap 'sahabat'. kan da ade konflik antara 2 org tu. susahkan? KMK.ringkasan bg kawan makan kawan. aku tak tau aku penah kene ke tak dulu. kadang2 aku tak sedar ape org buat kt aku.yeke? ok, fine.kalau ade org yg tolong sedarkan tu, itu bukan org yg baik menolong. bukan! anda silap konsep. mereka ialah org yg 'busybody' atau penyibuk tepi kain org, ok? atau org ckp mcm 'firestone' atau batu api. aku tak nk ckp lebih2, aku tak nk kisah dulu jadi lagi.senanglah aku pesan siap2, kalau ade org mcm ni yg cuba hasut kau, sila buat bodo! tolong la. ok?

• eh, kau kawan aku ke? bila kau da hebat atau terer. kau akan tengok, dlm satu geng tu dari ahli 6 org tibe2 jadi 4 org. 2 org lagi kne buang geng.(mcm celaka,ok?) aku tak penah kne walaupun aku ni sedikit bodo dan kwn2 aku selalu dapat result yg sgt hebat.tap, diorg tak penah pinggirkan aku.thnx eh! begini, dalam peringkat ni kau akan lihat mcm ahli geng ni akan berubah wajah. contohnya, si satu dulu geng A skang sudah berada di geng B.. tap, aku jamin kejadian mcm ni selalu jadi pd golongan XX. aku tak tipu.

• kawan main mesin tikam. 'backstabber' tu bila omputih panggil la. kawan kau dah jadi org yg terkenal dan terhebat dalam satu komuniti tu, ade je yg kau tak puas hati. lepas tu, mula adegan tikam belakang ni. depan mcm puteri syurga. belakang mcm puteri jahanam. padehal kau dua orang mmg baik mcm belangkas walaupun kau dua org tu sejenis. aku bukannya apa, bila perangai aku ni yang jenis emo bila tak puas hati. ade je yg tak tahan dgn perangai aku. kadang-kadang aku boleh bertukar jadi spesies mcm ni. aku tak tipu. aku mengaku.ok.

aku rasa kronologi ni sgt huru hara. aku mengikut tajuk yang buat sendiri.kronologi huru hara.ok.kau jgn pertikaikan apa-apa.aku terajang kang. (gimik je..eh, tap aku buat gak kalau kau kacau mood aku.aku tak tipu.) kronologi yg aku buat ni berdasarkan aku yg aku rasa dan aku perhatikan sekeliling aku. tap, kronologi tu boleh berubah2. ade yang mula2 dari main mesin tikam pastu jadi kwn sejati. aku tak nk kau percaya bulat2 dgn kronologi tu. kau org kan dah hidup lebih dr 20 tahun. kau kan byk kawan. kau mesti jumpa kwn yg mcm2 spesies. tak ada org dlm dunia ni yg sempurna. percayalah. aku tak tipu.kalau kau sempurna, kau bukan manusia.

mye :)

aku harap kamu berubah

(ishk..ishkk.kenapa?)

dah tujoh hari masuk tahun baru.aku harapkan kawan-kawan aku punya azam baru.macam2 azam.paling feymes skali 'nak kuruskan badan'.tipikal gila.itu diantara azam aku la..aku doakan azam kawan2 aku tu tercapai termasuk azam aku..tap,aku banyak kali pikir kenapa ada sesetengah kwn2 aku masih dgn perangai lama di tahun baru ni. dah tahun akhir ni, be like ur final year! aku bukan apa. kalo kamu tu masih dgn perangai lama, tak menyusahkan org lain takpe.. aku ni bukannya perfect sgt. tap, usaha ni ada untuk kearah lebih baik. kdg2 aku pun buat silap. aku ni hanya manusia biasa mcm kamu juga. emm, niat dihati ni baik nak menolong, tap kdg2 aku rasa burden kt aku. padehal kerja suma sama.. aku bukan nak condemn kamu, tap aku pikir positive yg manusia ni punya cara yang beza2. aku paham dgn tu. tap, tak salahkan kalo sume kerja buat sama2. aku cuma mau kamu bertindak lebih pantas, cekap dan efisyen (betul ke?) dengan menggunakan otak kamu. entahla aku tatau ape nk cakap. ishk, aku harap kamu berubah la.. kita sama2 berubah. amin~

p/s: tgh demam.selsema.sakit kepala.ishkk

mye :'(